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| A good mother or a clown |
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 If I am angry, I am not allowed to express myself; if I am tired I should pretend that I am energetic, if I’m sick I should act as a healthy mom.
If I am sad and I cannot stand my tears, I should wait until I’ll find my loneliness to cry; so that they neither hear my weeping nor see my tears.
Where shall I express my feelings? Where is my safe zone? How long can I tolerate to hide my bad feelings for the sake of their happiness?!
My mother behaved me the same and I am doing alike for the sake of my kids.
My little girl who is getting older day by day gradually understands my bad feelings hidden behind my happy face and she’ll learn not to express her sadness when she becomes a mother.
What about my son?! Will he become a role-playing happy father or he will become a husband expecting his wife to tolerate every suffering with a happy face?
How much can I tolerate to pretend as a happy mother in bad situations?
Does my family feel better to see my happy face despite my inner sadness? Is it valuable for my kids to see me always happy although they may become worry about the reality of my happy face?
Am I a good mother or a clown?
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