If you know the definite answer to this question, you are either not a working woman or not have a baby yet! From the moment the tiny figures touch my skin, all straight answers vanished into thin air.

The dilemma springs up during maternity leave. When I was in the center of the vicious cycle of feed/burp/diaper. What the life seems like from now on?

I experienced one of the strongest bonds of nature while the munchkin was in my arms and gradually I began compromising many of life principles, which were unnegotiable for me before the baby.

Sleep-deprived amid a messy house, only your baby cry prompts you to rush into his/her crib and soothe him/her. Having no alone time, you constantly feel guilty about your cluttered house and your motherhood.

And if you are a working woman, the latter turns over in your mind every now and then. What is the best way to be a good mother? Are stay-at home mothers full-time parents? What about your personal goals and achievements?

Is being a mum what I want to be introduced with from now on? If not, who wants to take after my little one when I am at work? You doubt if it is selfish to think about your career after being a mother.

The easiest way is to follow the ‘typical’ supermom defined by the society and family you live in. May be it is a working mom, who does the house chores while her child is asleep and is always stylish and full of energy.

Or maybe it is an exemplary stay-at-home mother who makes dishes with fresh veggies and her house shines with cleaning with a well-groomed child.

Actually it is not important what is defined for you as a ‘supermom’, the only way for you to be ‘super’ in your life is when you are the best version of yourself. 

Personal experience, education and beliefs are important factors for taking this important decision. 

Take it personal!

A happy woman makes a happy home and I think it is the first responsibility of a woman toward her family. 

Even if you should go back to work for financial reasons, you should find ways to enjoy it. Improve your career and be more active in your field. In this way this is not just a waste of time but an investment for your future.

You are the only person in the world that you can take the best decision about this matter and you should take a wise choice, which is really hard as well.

After being a mother, you become much more patient, fearless and more decisive. They are crucial parts of motherhood, which makes you a more powerful human being.

So stop searching on the internet about staying at home or returning to work. The psychological articles may be great help for you but you are the only person in the world with a unique lifestyle and unique family. The only one who can help you to make this landmark decision is yourself.

It is not important what is defined for you as a ‘supermom’, the only way for you to be ‘super’ in your life is when you are the best version of yourself.

 Your kid is a person for tomorrow

The point is that you are responsible for your tiny tot for many years and you are his/her mother for a lifetime. You should raise your child for a future, which is uncertain. Hence, time-bound criteria for taking decision is not wise.

Nobody can be sure about the accuracy of his or her decision for lifetime. However, you should consider your child’s adulthood, which is affected by your decision as well. 

Although you are not responsible for all your child’s feeling but you are responsible about your decisions and your feeling during your life span.

 
Your spouse matters

Talk and negotiate with your husband about your decision and your feelings. Being a parent is a new role both of you should accept and compromise your routine life and habits with it.

Parent-child relationship is a dynamic bond, which is defined several times during life. 

The dilemma exists for me after 15 months and I believe there is no general answer to this question. May be this is a part of this great dynamic mother-child relationship, which should be welcomed or an uncertainty, which I overcome in a future, which is not very far!

SB/MQ/MG