Question: I've been having problems with my parents. They always expect me to do things better even though if I'm the best student, it seems like they don't care. When I show them my grades, they're not surprised because they know I'm going to have a good grade anyway. It really hurts me to see them that way. I cry most of the time. I feel like no matter how much I try, it never seems to be enough. What should I tell them and what should I do?

Answer: You're in a stage that many people your age go through. It's the stage where you feel like no one appreciates your hard work and you wonder why you continue to try so hard to please them. Sometimes it feels like parents are hardest on their own children and are never completely satisfied with what their children do.
However, that is probably the furthest thing from the truth. Many parents say they only want what's best for their child and are happy with their child's grades and accomplishments as long as they know the child is doing the best he or she can. It sounds like you're trying your best, and it also sounds like your parents are proud of you, but they don't show it exactly the way you would like them to. Our advice to you is to continue doing your best.
Never stop doing your best just because you don't receive the praise you would like. Ultimately, you're the one who has to be pleased with your work and success. Nonetheless, it may help to talk to your parents and explain your feelings. Here are a few suggestions to help make the discussion go smoothly:
- Make sure you talk to your parents when you're not emotionally upset about their reaction to something. If you start yelling or crying, you won't be able to express your important feelings.
- Calmly tell your parents what's on your mind. Avoid “you” statements like, “You don't give me enough praise when I bring home a good grade” or “You're never happy with anything I do.” These types of accusation statements will only cause more friction. Instead use “I” statements such as “When I bring home good grades I feel as if you're not proud of what I've done,” or “Sometimes I feel hurt when you don't acknowledge my good grades.” This method communicates your feelings without blaming your parents.
- Listen to what your parents have to say. If you're getting a chance to speak what's on your mind, it's only fair to give the same opportunity to your parents. If you listen to what they say, you may learn that you've been misinterpreting their feelings.
- If your parents say something you disagree with, don't immediately overreact. Give them a chance to express their feelings and then calmly explain why you may disagree with them. Try to identify what you need from them and tell them (they may not know).
- Always keep the lines of communication open with your parents. Talking things over can help to make sure situations such as the one you're experiencing don't get out of control.
(Source: kansascity.com)